Post by High Priestess on Oct 27, 2015 14:50:47 GMT
THis post Mary shared Oct 27 2015 has some doormatty issues in it, so I will add it here:
Guest who acts like they own the house (and host who allows that to happen)
Last week I welcomed my first airbnb guest. I collected him from the bus stop in my town. I brought him to my house and made him tea and toast. Since them I feel I have done everything to make him feel comfortable. I even drove him to the shop for cigarettes last night. Since he got here he hasn't gone anywhere. He lounges around the house all day in his pyjamas. I even offered to bring him to a nearby tourist attraction. Today he started talking on his phone constantly while I was watching tv. Later in the evening he started playing music while the TV was also on. I brought the TV to another room.
I went to bed at 11.00pm. I woke up at 12.30amto the smell of something burning. I went downstairs and he was cooking burgers. I opened the doors and windows as the fumes were quite strong. I've just been woken up.again to hi. Talking loudly on the phone. When I looked out my windows I could see him smoking out the window of his bedroom. I am so angry right now. He has 3 weeks left of his stay. What should I do? Is it possible to ask him to leave?
les
I saw your list and you did not notice about smoking.
Write the house rule and ask him don't smoke inside.
Maybe you can ask him to leave but think about one more time.
Mary
Ya maybe I should add it to my rules. It's just that he smoked outside up until tonight!
Rosanne
I think you should sit him down and talk to him. Do not be afraid to order rules in your own home. Explain that you will both have to be comfortable with each other for 3 weeks. That he is allowed to use the kitchen but only between the hours of 9 am & 8 pm. That this is no smoking inside the house or from the window! And no blaring of radio when TV is on. Please conduct phone conversations inside his bedroom or outside. It is very distracting for you to have to listen in on his cell talk. Be FIRM.
Mary
Thank you Rosanne. I feel better after reading your response. Yes he has no right to act this way in my home. I hate confrontation but in this case it is c cas
Rosanne
I know what you mean about confrontation - and who wants to be the gestapo when you are trying to be a nice host. If it was for a few nights you could put up with it - but, 3 weeks is out of the question. Keep repeating to yourself = this is MY house & not a hotel !! I think sitting down with him and communicating is better than both of you resenting each other and winding up mad every day.
Ed & Hugh
Your house rules don't mention anything about cooking hours, playing music, or wearing pajamas. It's legitimate to complain about guests breaking house rules. Violations of unstated house rules should be dealt with more stoically, with lessons learned for the future.
Jeannette
Guests like these ... don't read house rules and don't know how to share a space. And, are torture. Better advice is to get this clown out by asking AirBNB to rehome him, in a whole apartment situation.
Rhonda
Aloha Mary and welcome to the club. These are all learning experiences that we learn in order to constantly update our House Rules listings in order to maintain sanity and respect in our own homes. 3 weeks more??? Holy Cow! I've a straight jacket you could borrow. He'd look lovely and now get too sweaty with them jammies underneath. Hugs and welcome to our world of incredible hosting experiences.
Deborah
Please take a look at my house rules and feel free to use them to help you add to yours. Too many new hosts have inadequate to zero house rules and this just invites problems of the kind you mention. Also, hosts have to be able to confront guests. If you cannot confront guests you will become a doormat.
By the way, you already are becoming a doormat by doing everything possible for your guests, including driving them for cigarettes. Stop being servile. YOu are not a chauffer. If you let guests trample all over you they will do so.
read the post on the Doormat Syndrome here:
globalhosting.freeforums.net/thread/39/doormat-syndrome-post-andrew
Guest who acts like they own the house (and host who allows that to happen)
Last week I welcomed my first airbnb guest. I collected him from the bus stop in my town. I brought him to my house and made him tea and toast. Since them I feel I have done everything to make him feel comfortable. I even drove him to the shop for cigarettes last night. Since he got here he hasn't gone anywhere. He lounges around the house all day in his pyjamas. I even offered to bring him to a nearby tourist attraction. Today he started talking on his phone constantly while I was watching tv. Later in the evening he started playing music while the TV was also on. I brought the TV to another room.
I went to bed at 11.00pm. I woke up at 12.30amto the smell of something burning. I went downstairs and he was cooking burgers. I opened the doors and windows as the fumes were quite strong. I've just been woken up.again to hi. Talking loudly on the phone. When I looked out my windows I could see him smoking out the window of his bedroom. I am so angry right now. He has 3 weeks left of his stay. What should I do? Is it possible to ask him to leave?
les
I saw your list and you did not notice about smoking.
Write the house rule and ask him don't smoke inside.
Maybe you can ask him to leave but think about one more time.
Mary
Ya maybe I should add it to my rules. It's just that he smoked outside up until tonight!
Rosanne
I think you should sit him down and talk to him. Do not be afraid to order rules in your own home. Explain that you will both have to be comfortable with each other for 3 weeks. That he is allowed to use the kitchen but only between the hours of 9 am & 8 pm. That this is no smoking inside the house or from the window! And no blaring of radio when TV is on. Please conduct phone conversations inside his bedroom or outside. It is very distracting for you to have to listen in on his cell talk. Be FIRM.
Mary
Thank you Rosanne. I feel better after reading your response. Yes he has no right to act this way in my home. I hate confrontation but in this case it is c cas
Rosanne
I know what you mean about confrontation - and who wants to be the gestapo when you are trying to be a nice host. If it was for a few nights you could put up with it - but, 3 weeks is out of the question. Keep repeating to yourself = this is MY house & not a hotel !! I think sitting down with him and communicating is better than both of you resenting each other and winding up mad every day.
Ed & Hugh
Your house rules don't mention anything about cooking hours, playing music, or wearing pajamas. It's legitimate to complain about guests breaking house rules. Violations of unstated house rules should be dealt with more stoically, with lessons learned for the future.
Jeannette
Guests like these ... don't read house rules and don't know how to share a space. And, are torture. Better advice is to get this clown out by asking AirBNB to rehome him, in a whole apartment situation.
Rhonda
Aloha Mary and welcome to the club. These are all learning experiences that we learn in order to constantly update our House Rules listings in order to maintain sanity and respect in our own homes. 3 weeks more??? Holy Cow! I've a straight jacket you could borrow. He'd look lovely and now get too sweaty with them jammies underneath. Hugs and welcome to our world of incredible hosting experiences.
Deborah
Please take a look at my house rules and feel free to use them to help you add to yours. Too many new hosts have inadequate to zero house rules and this just invites problems of the kind you mention. Also, hosts have to be able to confront guests. If you cannot confront guests you will become a doormat.
By the way, you already are becoming a doormat by doing everything possible for your guests, including driving them for cigarettes. Stop being servile. YOu are not a chauffer. If you let guests trample all over you they will do so.
read the post on the Doormat Syndrome here:
globalhosting.freeforums.net/thread/39/doormat-syndrome-post-andrew