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Post by Rhonda S on Jun 2, 2016 1:23:04 GMT
We have had a reservation for four people for some time starting tomorrow. Guest emailed to say there will now be six guests but only on 2 of the 4 days. They are here for a niece's wedding and have asked if the bridesmaids can get ready at our place. I agreed earlier to that but when I sent an adjustment for six guests instead of four, the guest is wanting to only pay the extra for the two nights the extra guests will be here. We buy breakfast items for the max number of guests and prepare the house for the max including towels, beds etc. This guest has already been asking for extras but I guess I am upset that she is balking at paying for six guests. How do you all handle it when you have extra guests for just one or two nights of the reservation? The guest also asked me about cats which I told her upfront that cats have been in the house before. Her son and husband has a cat allergy but she booked anyway. I feel like this is a bad review waiting to happen. Any suggestions on how to tactfully insist on the charge for six guests or am I wrong to expect that given the last minute of it and the bridesmaids coming over to get ready before the wedding? I need to respond to her tonight and don't know if I should not charge her and just chalk it up to experience. Thanks in advance for any advice!
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Post by High Priestess on Jun 2, 2016 2:14:24 GMT
HI Rhonda -- hmmmm...that sounds like a tricky situation. It's tricky because, without any previous clarification on the point, both you and she have valid arguments for your views -- she that she should only pay for the extra guests on the 2 nights they are there, you on the issues you raise of how you provide the service for the extra guests for the whole reservation.
In this case, if i were you I would compromise in this instance, chalk it up to experience, and only charge her for the two nights the additional guests will be there, but state very clearly that those guests will not be permitted to stay on days that they haven't paid for -- and yet, you could, if they decide to stay on additional dates, do yet another added on charge.
To avoid this kind of problem in the future -- here's what I recommend. First tell the guest who books that you must know the total number of guests within a certain amount of time prior to the start of the reservation-- eg one day, or a week before the reservation starts -- whatever you think reasonable. WRite this in your rules. You might add if you wish that guests can't change the total number of guests after that...but I think there is more value in staying flexible and allowing guests to be ADDED to the reservation, but not SUBTRACTED. Eg guest can pay for more guests (up to max #) but cannot , after a certain point, 1 day before reservation or whatever deadline you set) change and pay for FEWER guests.
SEcond, state that the guest will pay for whatever # of guests they have, for the entire duration of the stay. THis is the only reasonable way to do this. OTherwise you can go crazy and pull your hair out trying to amend reservations for a group of say 9 guests, some of whom are making short 2 day trips during the middle of your stay, and keep saying that they want a refund since someone isn't there all the days. Among other things, you cannot be keeping track of who is there and who is not, and neither can you trust guests to be honest about this. SO keep it simple and charge for any guest who will be there on any of the days.
The cat issue is more difficult -- guests' fault they didn't read -- but will they actually be able to even stay there if they have cat allergies and you have had cats there? NO telling -- it seems like a setup for them arriving and then leaving and wanting a full refund. Not much you can do at this point!
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Post by Rhonda S on Jun 2, 2016 2:43:46 GMT
Great advice Deborah! And thank you so much for responding so quickly!! I always love reading your advice because it is so insightful and makes sense.
I will especially learn from this and take your "preventative" measures in the future to avoid this from happening again.
She did just email me a few minutes ago to say the bridesmaids are not going to be getting ready at our place now - after I went out and bought supplies for the clothes steamer and a few other helpful items... oh well...
As for the cats, yes, I am worried but was very honest that we have accepted pets in the past. It was her first question. Not knowing how severe the allergies are, I could only tell her that yes, they had been here and leave it up to her to judge whether it was wise to book. I've been cleaning extra but also know that cat dander is tough...
Thank you again and just so you know, you are one of my Airbnb Heroes!!
All the best to you!
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Post by High Priestess on Jun 2, 2016 3:18:31 GMT
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Rhonda! It's nice to see the forum "regulars" like you making their way over here.....hopefully we can build up the community again. We won't have the newbies pouring in as much, but in time it may get to be known in the broader host community that there are some "indie" host communities like this one, the Airhosts forum, and the several FB groups, for hosts to drop in on and make use of. I have actually lately seen a link to this forum by someone on the new Airbnb CC -- so, people are finding this site of some use. WHich is heartening to me.
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Post by Rhonda S on Jun 2, 2016 4:40:02 GMT
I do hope some of the "newbies" find you as you and Andrew and the other "regulars" provided so much encouragement and support to so many of us. You should definitely feel assured that what you have been putting out there has benefitted many more than you will ever know. I'm sure you don't hear it as often as it gets said and thought! I am feeling grateful today that you're still out there!
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Post by helgaparis on Jun 2, 2016 7:57:13 GMT
You may find an official link in the help center before Christmas:
"Was this useful? If not ask the community! Is you problem serious? Ask Deborah!"
For the extra guests, when they say from the beginning that a family memer will join them on the weekend (s) of a longer stay, I do nit charge that, but they have to wash the extra laundry or pay for the laundry (much less than a day) all have washed so far.
If it sounds complicated, like my son will be here 3 days and then my daughter too and the the sun returns and then the daughter and last night the guest will be alone, which should compensate for one night of third person etc etc. In such cases it's extra person all the stay without even offering they wash the laundry instead. Dead sure they would not achieve that task without breaking the washer. I formulated that one diplomatically that the daughter needs an extra bed as surest she won't sleep in a double bed with the father. The review was good, he gave 4 stars but he was Belgian, they never give 5.
In your case, I would write something gracefully to confirm their decision like you welcome it, they will be much more comfortable having the place only for living without the hassle of preparation. If you are onsite, add regret that you won't see the maids now.
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Post by Rhonda S on Jun 2, 2016 22:04:35 GMT
A quick update.. The guest was pretty much a stickler about not wanting to pay any extra charges because she didn't want to have to ask the extra two guests to "chip in". I was getting weary of it all so I caved and ended up only charging her for the four guests instead of six. When she arrived, she seemed very grateful for the "deal" and said that her previous host also reimbursed her $50 for a "concern". She said she didn't want to be a "problem guest" so appreciated me working with her.
She loved our place and we chatted while her teen age son looked through drawers and cupboards... she laughed it off as "he gets bored easily.
Then came the "favors... just in case, can the bridesmaids still come over? If my son is bored, can one of her nephews here for the wedding join him at our place just to hang out? Oh, and also the nephew's father because things get kind of crazy at her sister's house and they all might just want to get away for awhile. (we post in our rules no outside guests) Then the cat thing... she said she would let me know if "we" have a problem since her husband is ultra sensitive so he is a good test on whether we should tell people with cat allergies that they shouldn't stay there. We stated very clearly to her that we have allowed pets and that cats once lived here right from the beginning. oh, and one more thing, "I know your check out is 11A but my flight doesn't leave until 5P, could we just hang out later? I don't want to be a bother though..." So I'm kind of gritting my teeth at this point but still playing nice and agree to it all. Dang, it seems my backbone crumbles when I deal with not only manipulative and demanding people but also those people who have the power of an online review. Anyone else ever feel this way?
I am writing this guest off as suggested as experience but feel a bit taken advantage of by this guest. What an icky feeling that I should have prevented by having more control over the situation. Chalk it up!
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Post by lambada on Jun 2, 2016 22:37:59 GMT
Hi Rhonda,
I'm still learning everyday with every different sets of guests, is that you do not need to give an immediate answer when someone asking you for a favor. That really helps when meeting charming, manipulative guests who ask for this and that and then your arms and legs as well and you can't say anything but 'Sure!'.
Just blame it on your partner, husband, wife, mom, whoever, say that you need to check with them first. And sometimes I ask the guests (or sometimes tenants) to just email me quickly with what they are asking for. That way they are not all over the place with the requests. Just my 2 cents.
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Post by maria on Jun 3, 2016 1:25:00 GMT
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Rhonda! It's nice to see the forum "regulars" like you making their way over here.....hopefully we can build up the community again. We won't have the newbies pouring in as much, but in time it may get to be known in the broader host community that there are some "indie" host communities like this one, the Airhosts forum, and the several FB groups, for hosts to drop in on and make use of. I have actually lately seen a link to this forum by someone on the new Airbnb CC -- so, people are finding this site of some use. WHich is heartening to me. {{{{Deborah}}}} In case you didn't know, I've just hugged you. lol |
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Post by maria on Jun 3, 2016 1:28:27 GMT
Hi Rhonda, I'm still learning everyday with every different sets of guests, is that you do not need to give an immediate answer when someone asking you for a favor. That really helps when meeting charming, manipulative guests who ask for this and that and then your arms and legs as well and you can't say anything but 'Sure!'. Just blame it on your partner, husband, wife, mom, whoever, say that you need to check with them first. And sometimes I ask the guests (or sometimes tenants) to just email me quickly with what they are asking for. That way they are not all over the place with the requests. Just my 2 cents. Great Advice. Our trick. My husband blames me and I blame him. A trick we have perfection-ed after too many cheeky encounters with people. I learned to be less drastic, from my husband. Instead of NO, i buy time and get back with a "maybe it is not a good idea." Same meaning: NO If the person is pushy, then he deserves an immediate "NO." |
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Post by maria on Jun 3, 2016 1:31:42 GMT
Maybe you can hide a little bit, not be so available? If they text message you, don't reply right away. If they look for you, you are in the shower taking a long shower. Go to the movies, go to "visit your aunt", go to a pre-arranged meeting you cannot skip. Good Luck. These people are really manipulative, good experience! We all had our moments with guests like these.
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Post by High Priestess on Jun 3, 2016 3:23:58 GMT
Maria, thanks for the hug! 
Also, great suggestions, Maria, for Rhonda.
What you are describing Rhonda sounds like an ingratiating situation -- the guest "friendliness" is there, but it isn't real. Real friendliness has respect in it, and honor of your boundaries and rules --- not plotting to set you up to be unable to say no to requests for exceptions, for favors. Get to know the feeling of an ingratiating guest, or conversation. Start pulling back energetically, rather than going forward. Maria's ideas are very good -- pulling back physically, or actually getting out of the space and going off to be alone, helps you draw the lines, which you can later articulate from your own terrain, once you've clarified your position in a space where you are not experiencing pressure.
ALso, as I have learned -- if you find that you have caved in to the guest's request, and regret it later, you can always come back and say you changed your mind and you really wont' allow X and such.
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Post by helgaparis on Jun 3, 2016 17:53:18 GMT
That's a good point: the guest is not accepting any deal and always coming back on it to get more and more and more. You should not feel obliged to honor each step that you already granted. Normally, if one side renegotiates an offer, it's no longer valid and you are free of your word.
Don't let such people walk on your head.
In such cases, I already said: 'I'm sorry, as my concessions don't suffice and don't satisfy you whilst they are not easy for me already, let's just return to the original deal and the agreement as you booked it and as you paid for. X persons, 11 am checkout, no visitors, house rules as agreed upon at the booking.
Don't feel bad about it, they just try. No use to reward entitled persons, charming or not.
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