No visitors or overnight guests

Alaia shared 10 months ago on HOsting 911
www.airbnb.com/groups/content/content-129127


Alaia

Overnight guests...NO. It's in my house rules

How to tell a person who has been a model guest and even returned 2 times that they cant have visitors or overnight guest.
I simply dont want overnighters who are not on airbnb and not a part of yhe original reservation. What can i do to keep good will and still have my eishes honored.
21 comments•1 like
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Suzanne

HELEN

HElen
HELEN10 months ago
Make your house rules clear in a house manual you leave beside their bed. I am planning on changing my WiFi password to NOsmoking! We don't need to apologize for sensible rules and good guests will cheerfully cooperate.

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Alaia
Alaia10 months ago
Hmmm. I reminded them of the house rules. Really puts me on the spot. He asked after he had made plans to have an overnight guest. I feel bad but. Also put upon grrrr

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Maggie

Maggie
Maggie10 months ago
Change your pricing to add a fee for extra guests after the first guest - I will bet this will discourage the behaviour - if not at least you get paid for the extra person.

Wendy


Wendy 10 months ago
It seems to me that since he has been a great guest in the past, and he is asking you for permission to bring in a friend/lover, then perhaps you can ask for any information from the extra person so as to make you feel more comfortable...such as their full name/date of birth/employer/ID.

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Jaime
Jaime10 months ago
Or have them reserve your place thru airbnb and pay for the privilege to spend the night.

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Lisa


Lisa10 months ago
I agree with Jaime. Is there time to send an alteration to the reservation to add that person? I feel for you, I wouldn't be comfortable with that at all. Let us know

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Alaia
Alaia10 months ago
I sent him a text citing liability concerns and apologized that I didn't know sooner.
He decided to stay with his friend on the other side of the island.
I think he understood. Guess I'll see for sure when reviews com about.
Arrrgh!

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Lisa
Lisa10 months ago
So is he cancelling the whole reservation? You shouldn't be out of pocket because someone wants to circumvent your rules or pay for an extra person. Ugh.

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Julie and Eric


Julie and Eric10 months ago
This is the same problem that happens sometimes with long-term reservations – the guest becomes familiar and feels that rules me not apply to them as much, or can be bent a little. If he asked in advance, just say sorry, no. If he didn't ask in advance, I would explain that he is been a terrific guest but there are just no overnight visitors, period.

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David


David10 months ago
I just use the reasoning that it invalidates our insurance, and only booked, named and paid guests can reside here. most guests seem to accept that. For me it is as much about the impact on my neighbours, seeing more random people coming and going.

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Judy

Judy
Judy10 months ago
Oh no no no! You have to be very clear to this guest that any additional overnight guests will be charged and remember to document everything through Airbnb. I would give this person a verbal warning/nudge and then I would reiterate my policy through a message on Airbnb so that when and if either one of you have to go into the Resolution Center, you have it documented that they were given a verbal and written warning. DO NOT let them walk all over you. The problem with returning guests is that they push the envelope bit by bit to see how much you will bend.

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Allison
Allison

Allison10 months ago
To the seasoned hosts that are saying "reinforce your rules" - why not offer to modify the reservation to include the extra person in the reservation (whether that has a fee or not)?

I'm all for enforcing house rules, but it sounds like the guest was pro-active about asking, not trying to sneak an extra person in. If they've been a good guest in the past and hopefully would be one in the future, I'm curious why the answer is "no" rather than finding a resolution that works well for both parties?

I'm pretty green on hosting, with a total of two stays under my belt, so I'd love to understand where you all are coming from! Thanks!

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Julie and Eric
Julie and Eric10 months ago
This is an option if you're okay with it, as other hosts have said here. If you're not okay with last-minute sleepovers/unapproved guests/visitors in the home you're sharing with the guest (or not), it's fine to say that too. It sounded like Alaia wasn't down with it, so that's why people are suggesting to reinforce the rules.

Allison
Allison10 months ago
Thanks - that makes sense! I'm sure a lot depends on your set-up and amount of interaction, too. I could see not wanting to be a part of someone's booty call if you share spaces!

David
David10 months ago
Unfortunately a lot of us more established hosts have been bitten one too many times. I find if you concede with 1

David
David10 months ago
rule. then others get broken. For me it is about respect for my other guests who would be sharing a bathroom with so e random. also e tra

David
David10 months ago
*ok* last time I use my phone to post. sorry about all typos.

Alaia
Alaia10 months ago
He has been here 10 days already. He had a friend invite herself to visit him for his last two days. I had spoken with him last night and he knew his friend was coming but mentioned nothing about bringing them back home. Only that he was spending time with them on the other side. I think it was a last minute decision to invite them to come back with him. So he texted to ask if he could have a guest stay overnight.
I bought some time to think and to ask you guys what you thought. Ultimately I think it is going to work out ok.

He only had 2 more nights. So I'm guessing he'll be back tomorrow. Either to check out or to spend one more night before returning home.
He didn't sound upset in his text. Just said he was spending the night on the other side
I guess I'll see how it all turns out after the reviews.

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Lisa
Lisa10 months ago
Sounds like it will all be ok to me. It sounds to me like he realises that he changed the rules on you and sounds perfectly ok with your no. I had a similar situation with a month long guest. She met a fella while in town, was going on dates with him. One morning after a date I asked her how it went, said it was good, was going to ask him up but decided against it at the last minute. I told her in no uncertain terms right then that I would not be comfortable with a stranger in my house so please don't ask him up ever. She wasn't happy about that but followed the rule and they stayed at his a night per week thereafter. Then she dinged me on location because it was too far from his! After she booked my flat due to proximity to Edinburgh Uni ( she was on a research project at Uni)and because I back onto Holyrood park! Lol! How dare my flat be located across town from a new fella she randomly met after arriving and staying here, when before she met him my location was exactly where she needed. Ha ha.

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Deborah

Deborah
Deborah10 months ago
I think it's always up to the host as to whether to bend any rules, or make exceptions. If you have a certain house rule, there's probably a reason for it, or many reasons for it, so think about what those reasons are when someone asks that an exception be made for them. And think about your own comfort, and how you would feel if you made an exception for this guest.

While the guest and perhaps you yourself might rationalize that since they have stayed at your house a few times now, and been a model guest, they "deserve" to have a privilege granted to them, such as being allowed to have a visitor, there is also good reason to decline such a request. Namely, this repeat guest may be back again in the future several more times, and if you grant this exception to them now, they may be in a position to DEMAND that you grant them this same exception every time they come, in the future. In other words, once you open that door, it may be hard to close it again. For this reason alone I would recommend that you not allow the guest to have visitors, if that is your general policy.

There are more than a half dozen reasons why I dont' allow guests to have visitors. (1) Liability issues -- Airbnb covers the guest but not random people that the guest brings in. (2) Lack of opportunity to screen visitor -- I screened the guest, when I accepted his or her reservation -- they presented info about themselves to me and I was able to say yes or no. Who is this visitor or visitors of the guest? Would I even like them? What if they turn out to be someone I don't like? Sorry but I want to, actually I DEMAND to, be able to screen all people who are going to be coming into MY HOME. (3) Noise. Two people in a room in my home create more noise than one person. (4) House rules -- known by visitor? The guest who I have invited into my home has read my house rules and agreed to them. The visitor has not done so -- has the guest insisted that their visitor be aware of my house rules, and read them? Probably not. So, I could end up with the visitor violating house rules such as removal of shoes, no use of perfumes in house, no smoking in the house, no cellphone use in common areas of house, etc. (5) When a guest comes alone, they are oriented towards me and any other guest in my home whom they don't yet know -- this mix of individuals who don't yet know each other creates a certain dynamic. That dynamic is very much altered when the guest brings in a visitor. They may now inhabit a bubble, separated from myself or others in my house. They may become emboldened and energetically start "taking over" the house with their own energy/culture, even if unconsciously. THis can be awkward for me and other guests. (6) Once you allow a guest to have a visitor or visitors, placing limits on the amount of time they can have the person at your home becomes awkward or difficult. Once a week? 2-3 times a week? Only 2 hrs or less each time? What if you specify the visitor can come over 2-3 times a week for 2 hrs or less each time, and you find that the guest is having the visitor over all day, every day. What do you do then? What if you are not going to be home all day to "check" and make sure that the guest sticks to the agreed hours? (7) Day visitor becomes overnight visitor. What if you allow the guest to have day visitors only, thinking you want to limit the guest to not essentially having a whole second guest in constant residence at your place, but the guest does this in spite of your asking them not to. Or what if you are fine if the guest has friends over, but you don't want people having sex all day because it's the room next to your bedroom and you can hear too much -- and the guests' "visitor" turns out to be here (during the day, not overnight) for just that purpose, and you end up being made to feel uncomfortable in your home.

So these are some of the reasons I don't allow guests to have any visitors at all. That is one rule I never make exceptions to.

Reply Like 3 replies•5 likes
David
David10 months ago
Got to admit that I am pretty blunt when it comes to going over the rules. I kind of drop the friendly act and revert to a very serious business like mode. I always meet guests and do it face to face. In rare occasion I have left a key, every single time, issues have occurred. It just do not worry me if the guest would leave a bad review because I have firm rules; what's the worst that can happen? Oh yes, loose Superhost status - been there, done that?

Doug & Carole
Doug and Carole

Doug & Carole10 months ago
Deborah and all, Have we been doing this all wrong since we started hosting? We have a separate apartment in our home designed for two people. Our rate is for two with extra charge if there is a third. So far we have only had couples and I don't require that both be Airbnb members. Does that mean I'm not covered by Aribnb if the non Airbnb member ( but spouse of member) damages my listing I have no recourse through Airbnb?

Julie and Eric
Julie and Eric10 months ago
D&C - it's not necessary for both to be Airbnb members - only one, and the other is listed on the reservation. Why did you think otherwise?

Lisa
Lisa10 months ago
Yup, exactly what Deborah says. Once you open that door an inch, nearly impossible to close it!

Reply Like 1 reply•3 likes
Suzanne

Suzanne
Suzanne10 months ago
Not only is Deborah's answer, dead on, But I do/feel exactly like David does, and feels!! Right down to the change from friendly mode to business person. And I've never left a key - always greet in person.

Susan

Susan
Susan10 months ago
put this in your listing description and house rules and TELL THEM STRAIGHT UP TO THEIR FACE. You have to man up about this.

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Julie and Eric
Julie and Eric10 months ago
I prefer the term "woman up."

Susan
Susan10 months ago
LOL that works too! Also, what is the penalty for infraction of House Rules? In my book, it's termination of the reservation right then and there.

Julie and Eric
Julie and Eric10 months ago
For me it depends on the rule and the guest. If they've been complete jerks, a middle-tier rule may be the reservation killer. If they've been great and I remind them of a low-tier rule and they stop, it's all good. If they're new and have a dozen people over and I tell them to make them leave and they don't go, they have to go. Luckily I haven't had to enforce too many rules because I have been blessed with SuperGuests.

HELEN
HELEN10 months ago
I agree with Susan. Be polite, but firm. If you prefer to take risks, then be prepared for the consequences.

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Sandra

Sandra
Sandra10 months ago
Great advice here - stay firm on your rules. Like David I am super friendly but when I go over the house rules then I am firm and serious- this my home not a hotel or B&B. I also leave a copy of the rules in the guest room because they won't take in everything on arrival so easier to refer to later.

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David
David10 months ago
Best way Sandra. Other day guest requested early bag drop. So I arrived for 11am. She then texts at 10.45. Oh, going to meet friend for lunch, see you between 2.30 - 3pm.' So I phoned and said 'actually, no. I have made special arrangements around YOUR request, you need to keep to that.' She came and was a bit off. In review, all was fine. Private comments: what could be improved: 'David has a very direct style of communication.' Sure have, with jokers like her. So I was just expected to sit and wait for 4 hours whilst she had lunch. No thank you.

Susan
Susan10 months ago
you rock David....

Suzanne
Suzanne10 months ago
indeed...he does!

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Suzanne
Suzanne10 months ago
The only real damage that we've had was caused by non-approved guests; they were delightful people (parents of the guests) but there was a language gap, they had not been oriented to the house rules, and they damaged our glass stovetop.

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Doug & Carole
Doug & Carole10 months ago
@ Julie, Eric, & Phil, I really didn't think we were doing anything wrong by accepting a couple when only one was registered w/Airbnb but then reading the forums, and maybe I was misunderstanding, it sounded like other hosts want all guests verified not just the one booking. Maybe my misunderstanding is when only one guest books the room then says, oh by the way, I'm bringing my (fill in blank) too.

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Deborah