Post by High Priestess on Dec 7, 2015 23:56:44 GMT
Ella shared Dec 7 2015
What to do with a flirting guest
I hosted over 10 guests and so far so good ,never had this issue before .
However my guest start flirting with me ,offering me a bottle of wine ,inviting me over my place .At 35 years old we become mature enough to read those signs without being confused and easy for us to put a limit to it if you are not interested .But as an Airbnb host with your guest that you want to host him very good enough to get your 5 stars review ,I'm confused about setting up a limit .I had to take my distance ,i did my best to be a nice host but i was scared that he missunderstand me and he get it as an approval for his flirting .And that's what it explain that this guest didn't put a (email hidden)>So I really don't want to go through this again ,should I lie ,I put a picture of me with my ex on my profile ...or what to do go avoid get in to this kind of situation .
Thank you .
Andrew
Ella, is the guest staying in your Entire House or your Private Room listing?
If it's the former, there's not much that you need to do except not go to the property until the guest has checked out.
However, if you're sharing the household, the boundaries grow more critical. A certain amount of flirtation can be relatively benign, but these are things I'd watch out for:
- The guest is persistent when you decline his offers
- He follows you into your personal space when you try to take distance
- He uses aggressive body language or initiates physical contact
- He makes you feel in any way threatened or obliged to provide "extra services"
- Lewd conduct such as leaving the bedroom door open while unclothed
- The guest is approaching you while heavily intoxicated
Sometimes it's a fine line, but those are examples of situations where it's no longer flirtation but rather harassment. That would be grounds to remove the guest from your property to ensure your personal safety (which should always come before concerns about reviews). Whereas if the guest is making unwanted offers but otherwise keeping a distance and not getting all up in your personal space, I'd expect a firm "no thank you" to be enough.
You could make up a lie about being in a relationship, but I'd lean more toward avoiding all unnecessary conversation about personal stuff.
Ella
He rented a whole house ,I only said flirting not harassment ,or I won't posted here I'll be calling the cups for him that's for sure .
C C
C Ca day ago
I hear you, Ella. Doesn't change a thing I said.
C C
C Ca day ago
You could include a pic of your ex. Also, when men are trolling for women to take advantage of, they look for pics like your current one. Sly glances, lots of bare shoulder, cleavage, etc. because those are the women without the judgement to know what to do--like what pic of themselves should represent them as a host on a worldwide website. They're also without the judgement to stand up for themselves.
Reply Like 2 likes Delete
Kim
Kim20 hours ago
I agree with CC, change your picture it's too suggestive as is. Since he is renting the entire place it's not really a big deal, there is no need for you to be at the house anyway.
Ella
I don't think it's too suggestive ,unless the guest instead of looking for a place ,looking for women ,that's the issue not my picture ,I'm not in a dating website m I ?
C C
C C15 hours ago
The world is a dating website in the minds of many men.
Ella
Elif15 hours ago
Not all man's thanks God loll
helga
helga10 hours ago
I don't think they book for the girl but if one is available, it's a side benefice to some men. You look to vulnerable on the picture. Some men would try their chance with every women but most will try at least flirting if they perceive an invitation. - besides think on all the serious married guys who don't dare booking as their wife would not be happy seeing that host photo, ;-)
Elisabetta
Elisabetta19 hours ago
Your picture invites men. Who sows the wind...
Reply Like Delete
helga
helga19 hours ago
;-) the picture is great !! If I wanted to create an erotic picture for a hot lover I could not get that look plus pose even spending hours before a mirror. You should really change it for one with more clothes and a straight regard. But apart from that, I see not much harm in a little flirting. Just say you can't come for a visit. I never invent partners to say no. That would mean you can't deny a request without being claimed by someone else. That's rubbish. If I don't want to, I don't want to. No explanations, no excuses. I just say "No" firmly, a regretful smile and another topic, a totally boring one.
Ella
Well I guess I wasn't clear enough ,my issue is not how to say no firmly ,in my case was texting and i just didn't text back ,however I do know how to deal with flirting men's in normal life ,my issue was that this guest didn't left a review and another guest probably will be more mean and leave a bad review bcz i wasn't accepting to play his game .regarding my picture I don't have many u believed or not ,I got no time to take selfies like new generation girls lolll ,however I did put 2 others before were refused and coudnt post anything in any group because my picture was not clear enough ,or I had my glasses on ...
And you believe it or not ,didnt put any effort on that picture ,i was in a cruise with family and friends, one of them did take it ,that's all .I though we are not in a dating web site to be worried about this kind of issues,and now I have to lie and put my picture with my ex ,we are in civilised world in 2015 on I'm making a mistake ,any way,Thank you Elga
C C
C C15 hours ago
Oooooo, Ella--you wear glasses? That solves it all! Forget the ex & just put your glasses on! Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses! (Helga will argue, but....)
helga
helga11 hours ago
One thoughtful look and they don't make passed on me anyway, CC. But you are right, glasses on a picture are a good signal: you don't take them off, so you don't want to be as pretty as a nice little girl.
Jason
Jason18 hours ago
elisabetta, you're so mean lol. But seriously, Ella, a pic with your fiancé could potentially be helpful! I like to leave a bottle of wine for my guests, and I was planning to start dropping it off so I could meet my guests but now I'm not sure after your story! Lol
Ella
No worries about the wine ,I do offer many things and guests loved it ,but when the guest a single young man offer a single young women that + 2 invitation for supper or watching movie ,u can tell that's not a very host-guest innocent interaction ;-)
Jason
Jason14 hours ago
True!
Elisabetta
Elisabetta18 hours ago
More likely "what to do with a flirting host". @jason As a blond blue eye Italian female i've had to quickly learn how to behave, just to survive
Reply Like Delete
Jason
Jason17 hours ago
Whatever, Elisabetta. I don't think Ella means any harm. Why are you so fast to assume so much? (Half kidding, half serious here:)
Reply Like 2 replies•1 like Delete
Ella
Thank u Jason ,much appreciated ,no need to bother yourself and taking my defense ,honestly there's some level that I don't go under it no matter what , my answer to ignorant is ignorance and i keep going ;-)
Jason
Jason14 hours ago
Lol good answer
Jeannette
Jeannette14 hours ago
:: Massive eyeroll :: Listen to Elisabetta & ignore Jason, he's def. not reliable.
Reply Like 2 replies Delete
Ella
Would you please explain yourself more Jeannette ,im sure as a writer you are ,you choose your words carefully;-)
Jeannette
Jeannette5 hours ago
I believe my statement is crystal clear.
Jason
Jason14 hours ago
Is there an "unlike" button here? Jeannette, what do you mean by def not reliable? lol
Reply Like 1 reply Delete
Jeannette
Jeannette5 hours ago
Your advice is insincere and mistaken, and also, not informed by an understanding of sexual dynamics.
Deborah
older version:
What to do with a flirting guest
I hosted over 10 guests and so far so good ,never had this issue before .
However my guest start flirting with me ,offering me a bottle of wine ,inviting me over my place .At 35 years old we become mature enough to read those signs without being confused and easy for us to put a limit to it if you are not interested .But as an Airbnb host with your guest that you want to host him very good enough to get your 5 stars review ,I'm confused about setting up a limit .I had to take my distance ,i did my best to be a nice host but i was scared that he missunderstand me and he get it as an approval for his flirting .And that's what it explain that this guest didn't put a (email hidden)>So I really don't want to go through this again ,should I lie ,I put a picture of me with my ex on my profile ...or what to do go avoid get in to this kind of situation .
Thank you .
Andrew
Ella, is the guest staying in your Entire House or your Private Room listing?
If it's the former, there's not much that you need to do except not go to the property until the guest has checked out.
However, if you're sharing the household, the boundaries grow more critical. A certain amount of flirtation can be relatively benign, but these are things I'd watch out for:
- The guest is persistent when you decline his offers
- He follows you into your personal space when you try to take distance
- He uses aggressive body language or initiates physical contact
- He makes you feel in any way threatened or obliged to provide "extra services"
- Lewd conduct such as leaving the bedroom door open while unclothed
- The guest is approaching you while heavily intoxicated
Sometimes it's a fine line, but those are examples of situations where it's no longer flirtation but rather harassment. That would be grounds to remove the guest from your property to ensure your personal safety (which should always come before concerns about reviews). Whereas if the guest is making unwanted offers but otherwise keeping a distance and not getting all up in your personal space, I'd expect a firm "no thank you" to be enough.
You could make up a lie about being in a relationship, but I'd lean more toward avoiding all unnecessary conversation about personal stuff.
Ella
He rented a whole house ,I only said flirting not harassment ,or I won't posted here I'll be calling the cops for him that's for sure .
C C
I hear you, Ella. Doesn't change a thing I said.
C C
You could include a pic of your ex. Also, when men are trolling for women to take advantage of, they look for pics like your current one. Sly glances, lots of bare shoulder, cleavage, etc. because those are the women without the judgement to know what to do--like what pic of themselves should represent them as a host on a worldwide website. They're also without the judgement to stand up for themselves.
Kim
I agree with CC, change your picture it's too suggestive as is. Since he is renting the entire place it's not really a big deal, there is no need for you to be at the house anyway.
Elisabetta
Your picture invites men. Who sows the wind...
helga
;-) the picture is great !! If I wanted to create an erotic picture for a hot lover I could not get that look plus pose even spending hours before a mirror. You should really change it for one with more clothes and a straight regard. But apart from that, I see not much harm in a little flirting. Just say you can't come for a visit. I never invent partners to say no. That would mean you can't deny a request without being claimed by someone else. That's rubbish. If I don't want to, I don't want to. No explanations, no excuses. I just say "No" firmly, a regretful smile and another topic, a totally boring one.
Jason
Elisabetta, you're so mean lol. But seriously, Ella, a pic with your fiancé could potentially be helpful! I like to leave a bottle of wine for my guests, and I was planning to start dropping it off so I could meet my guests but now I'm not sure after your story! Lol
Elisabetta
More likely "what to do with a flirting host". Jason As a blond blue eye Italian female i've had to quickly learn how to behave, just to survive
What to do with a flirting guest
I hosted over 10 guests and so far so good ,never had this issue before .
However my guest start flirting with me ,offering me a bottle of wine ,inviting me over my place .At 35 years old we become mature enough to read those signs without being confused and easy for us to put a limit to it if you are not interested .But as an Airbnb host with your guest that you want to host him very good enough to get your 5 stars review ,I'm confused about setting up a limit .I had to take my distance ,i did my best to be a nice host but i was scared that he missunderstand me and he get it as an approval for his flirting .And that's what it explain that this guest didn't put a (email hidden)>So I really don't want to go through this again ,should I lie ,I put a picture of me with my ex on my profile ...or what to do go avoid get in to this kind of situation .
Thank you .
Andrew
Ella, is the guest staying in your Entire House or your Private Room listing?
If it's the former, there's not much that you need to do except not go to the property until the guest has checked out.
However, if you're sharing the household, the boundaries grow more critical. A certain amount of flirtation can be relatively benign, but these are things I'd watch out for:
- The guest is persistent when you decline his offers
- He follows you into your personal space when you try to take distance
- He uses aggressive body language or initiates physical contact
- He makes you feel in any way threatened or obliged to provide "extra services"
- Lewd conduct such as leaving the bedroom door open while unclothed
- The guest is approaching you while heavily intoxicated
Sometimes it's a fine line, but those are examples of situations where it's no longer flirtation but rather harassment. That would be grounds to remove the guest from your property to ensure your personal safety (which should always come before concerns about reviews). Whereas if the guest is making unwanted offers but otherwise keeping a distance and not getting all up in your personal space, I'd expect a firm "no thank you" to be enough.
You could make up a lie about being in a relationship, but I'd lean more toward avoiding all unnecessary conversation about personal stuff.
Ella
He rented a whole house ,I only said flirting not harassment ,or I won't posted here I'll be calling the cups for him that's for sure .
C C
C Ca day ago
I hear you, Ella. Doesn't change a thing I said.
C C
C Ca day ago
You could include a pic of your ex. Also, when men are trolling for women to take advantage of, they look for pics like your current one. Sly glances, lots of bare shoulder, cleavage, etc. because those are the women without the judgement to know what to do--like what pic of themselves should represent them as a host on a worldwide website. They're also without the judgement to stand up for themselves.
Reply Like 2 likes Delete
Kim
Kim20 hours ago
I agree with CC, change your picture it's too suggestive as is. Since he is renting the entire place it's not really a big deal, there is no need for you to be at the house anyway.
Ella
I don't think it's too suggestive ,unless the guest instead of looking for a place ,looking for women ,that's the issue not my picture ,I'm not in a dating website m I ?
C C
C C15 hours ago
The world is a dating website in the minds of many men.
Ella
Elif15 hours ago
Not all man's thanks God loll
helga
helga10 hours ago
I don't think they book for the girl but if one is available, it's a side benefice to some men. You look to vulnerable on the picture. Some men would try their chance with every women but most will try at least flirting if they perceive an invitation. - besides think on all the serious married guys who don't dare booking as their wife would not be happy seeing that host photo, ;-)
Elisabetta
Elisabetta19 hours ago
Your picture invites men. Who sows the wind...
Reply Like Delete
helga
helga19 hours ago
;-) the picture is great !! If I wanted to create an erotic picture for a hot lover I could not get that look plus pose even spending hours before a mirror. You should really change it for one with more clothes and a straight regard. But apart from that, I see not much harm in a little flirting. Just say you can't come for a visit. I never invent partners to say no. That would mean you can't deny a request without being claimed by someone else. That's rubbish. If I don't want to, I don't want to. No explanations, no excuses. I just say "No" firmly, a regretful smile and another topic, a totally boring one.
Ella
Well I guess I wasn't clear enough ,my issue is not how to say no firmly ,in my case was texting and i just didn't text back ,however I do know how to deal with flirting men's in normal life ,my issue was that this guest didn't left a review and another guest probably will be more mean and leave a bad review bcz i wasn't accepting to play his game .regarding my picture I don't have many u believed or not ,I got no time to take selfies like new generation girls lolll ,however I did put 2 others before were refused and coudnt post anything in any group because my picture was not clear enough ,or I had my glasses on ...
And you believe it or not ,didnt put any effort on that picture ,i was in a cruise with family and friends, one of them did take it ,that's all .I though we are not in a dating web site to be worried about this kind of issues,and now I have to lie and put my picture with my ex ,we are in civilised world in 2015 on I'm making a mistake ,any way,Thank you Elga
C C
C C15 hours ago
Oooooo, Ella--you wear glasses? That solves it all! Forget the ex & just put your glasses on! Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses! (Helga will argue, but....)
helga
helga11 hours ago
One thoughtful look and they don't make passed on me anyway, CC. But you are right, glasses on a picture are a good signal: you don't take them off, so you don't want to be as pretty as a nice little girl.
Jason
Jason18 hours ago
elisabetta, you're so mean lol. But seriously, Ella, a pic with your fiancé could potentially be helpful! I like to leave a bottle of wine for my guests, and I was planning to start dropping it off so I could meet my guests but now I'm not sure after your story! Lol
Ella
No worries about the wine ,I do offer many things and guests loved it ,but when the guest a single young man offer a single young women that + 2 invitation for supper or watching movie ,u can tell that's not a very host-guest innocent interaction ;-)
Jason
Jason14 hours ago
True!
Elisabetta
Elisabetta18 hours ago
More likely "what to do with a flirting host". @jason As a blond blue eye Italian female i've had to quickly learn how to behave, just to survive
Reply Like Delete
Jason
Jason17 hours ago
Whatever, Elisabetta. I don't think Ella means any harm. Why are you so fast to assume so much? (Half kidding, half serious here:)
Reply Like 2 replies•1 like Delete
Ella
Thank u Jason ,much appreciated ,no need to bother yourself and taking my defense ,honestly there's some level that I don't go under it no matter what , my answer to ignorant is ignorance and i keep going ;-)
Jason
Jason14 hours ago
Lol good answer
Jeannette
Jeannette14 hours ago
:: Massive eyeroll :: Listen to Elisabetta & ignore Jason, he's def. not reliable.
Reply Like 2 replies Delete
Ella
Would you please explain yourself more Jeannette ,im sure as a writer you are ,you choose your words carefully;-)
Jeannette
Jeannette5 hours ago
I believe my statement is crystal clear.
Jason
Jason14 hours ago
Is there an "unlike" button here? Jeannette, what do you mean by def not reliable? lol
Reply Like 1 reply Delete
Jeannette
Jeannette5 hours ago
Your advice is insincere and mistaken, and also, not informed by an understanding of sexual dynamics.
Deborah
older version:
What to do with a flirting guest
I hosted over 10 guests and so far so good ,never had this issue before .
However my guest start flirting with me ,offering me a bottle of wine ,inviting me over my place .At 35 years old we become mature enough to read those signs without being confused and easy for us to put a limit to it if you are not interested .But as an Airbnb host with your guest that you want to host him very good enough to get your 5 stars review ,I'm confused about setting up a limit .I had to take my distance ,i did my best to be a nice host but i was scared that he missunderstand me and he get it as an approval for his flirting .And that's what it explain that this guest didn't put a (email hidden)>So I really don't want to go through this again ,should I lie ,I put a picture of me with my ex on my profile ...or what to do go avoid get in to this kind of situation .
Thank you .
Andrew
Ella, is the guest staying in your Entire House or your Private Room listing?
If it's the former, there's not much that you need to do except not go to the property until the guest has checked out.
However, if you're sharing the household, the boundaries grow more critical. A certain amount of flirtation can be relatively benign, but these are things I'd watch out for:
- The guest is persistent when you decline his offers
- He follows you into your personal space when you try to take distance
- He uses aggressive body language or initiates physical contact
- He makes you feel in any way threatened or obliged to provide "extra services"
- Lewd conduct such as leaving the bedroom door open while unclothed
- The guest is approaching you while heavily intoxicated
Sometimes it's a fine line, but those are examples of situations where it's no longer flirtation but rather harassment. That would be grounds to remove the guest from your property to ensure your personal safety (which should always come before concerns about reviews). Whereas if the guest is making unwanted offers but otherwise keeping a distance and not getting all up in your personal space, I'd expect a firm "no thank you" to be enough.
You could make up a lie about being in a relationship, but I'd lean more toward avoiding all unnecessary conversation about personal stuff.
Ella
He rented a whole house ,I only said flirting not harassment ,or I won't posted here I'll be calling the cops for him that's for sure .
C C
I hear you, Ella. Doesn't change a thing I said.
C C
You could include a pic of your ex. Also, when men are trolling for women to take advantage of, they look for pics like your current one. Sly glances, lots of bare shoulder, cleavage, etc. because those are the women without the judgement to know what to do--like what pic of themselves should represent them as a host on a worldwide website. They're also without the judgement to stand up for themselves.
Kim
I agree with CC, change your picture it's too suggestive as is. Since he is renting the entire place it's not really a big deal, there is no need for you to be at the house anyway.
Elisabetta
Your picture invites men. Who sows the wind...
helga
;-) the picture is great !! If I wanted to create an erotic picture for a hot lover I could not get that look plus pose even spending hours before a mirror. You should really change it for one with more clothes and a straight regard. But apart from that, I see not much harm in a little flirting. Just say you can't come for a visit. I never invent partners to say no. That would mean you can't deny a request without being claimed by someone else. That's rubbish. If I don't want to, I don't want to. No explanations, no excuses. I just say "No" firmly, a regretful smile and another topic, a totally boring one.
Jason
Elisabetta, you're so mean lol. But seriously, Ella, a pic with your fiancé could potentially be helpful! I like to leave a bottle of wine for my guests, and I was planning to start dropping it off so I could meet my guests but now I'm not sure after your story! Lol
Elisabetta
More likely "what to do with a flirting host". Jason As a blond blue eye Italian female i've had to quickly learn how to behave, just to survive
