First Guest Ever already issues

HI hosty
Sorry to hear you are having these problems so soon in your hosting career! It happens!
First, I am glad you turned off instant book. That will help a lot, since as you start hosting there are a lot of things to learn, there is a learning curve, and you want to be able to have time to learn, which instant book does not allow very well.

There are two ways to respond to your question -- the first is as far as advice about what to do with this current situation, the second is as far as advice for the future.

(1) For this situation: you do not need to accomodate someone who wants to check out late, check in early, leave luggage after checking out, or get an "Exception" to any of your house rules. One of the most important parts about hosting, which can be difficult to learn and to do for many, is to keep your boundaries. To stay firm about your rules and boundaries and avoid making exceptions or accomodating guests beyond what you are comfortable with. It is not too late to tell this guest that you won't be able to allow them to leave their luggage after check out, and certainly that they cannot check in before 3pm if that is stated on your house rules/listing description. Keeping your boundaries means you won't be resentful about the guest during the reservation or after, which is important.

(2)For the future -- Get set with a strong set of house rules, and read tips for new hosts and red flags for hosts. ANy guest should be able to tell you the FULL NAME and CONTACT INFO for every single person who will be staying at your home. I STRONGLY recommend that you also do not allow guests to bring any others to your home who have not been named in advance and paid for in advance, eg, no visitors, no friends, nobody extra, not even for a few minutes. THis can help avoid some big problems. When a guest inquires, make sure they have read the house rules and understand check in and check out time. You might state that leaving luggage after check out is something guest needs to ask you about in advance, that you can sometimes but not always accomodate this and guest should not presume they will be able to do this.

See my tips for new hosts here:
globalhosting.freeforums.net/thread/456/tips-new-hosts

See my red flags for hosts here:
globalhosting.freeforums.net/thread/455/red-flags-hosts

See my extensive list of house rules here:
globalhosting.freeforums.net/thread/366/house-rules-long-comprehensive

Others may be able to share their house rules with you -- you needn't start with such a long list, but this may help give you ideas of the kinds of things that need to be addressed at times with guests.

I agree with the above about not accommodating the early check-in. Or holding her luggage after check-out if you do not have the space. Instant Book does not mean you are a valet service!

I require the name of each person coming on a reservation. No name, no booking. It's in my house rules that no strangers are allowed on my property. Strangers are defined as people whose name is not on the original booking. I would insist on the name of her traveling companion. Tell her that if she does not provide the information you request, that you may have to cancel the reservation. Then stick to it. Airbnb is already based primarily on trust between hosts and guests. She needs to live up to her part of that relationship.

Always follow your instincts. If someone is this needy before arrival, you can bet it's only the beginning!

I wouldn't want someone loitering on my porch or in my yard for 3-4 hours! Not only is that creepy, but guaranteed the guest nails you with a "1" for Arrival!