Post by High Priestess on Sept 11, 2017 15:42:50 GMT
Many hosts become stymied when they are awakened by guests who are making what could be termed "involuntary noises" or "intimate activities" such as loud snoring or loud lovemaking.
It often feels more difficult to talk to guests about their violation of house rules, and quiet hours, if the violation consists of loud lovemaking. Not only do hosts feel awkward about addressing this, but I've seen many hosts be shamed and castigated in host communities for expressing their confusion about how to deal with this issue. Apparently the point of view of many guests and some hosts alike, is that house rules are fine, except when they're not convenient for the guest. Or, quiet hours are fine, as long as guests can still do whatever they feel that they need to do, at any time of the day. No. Just nope.
One small bit of logic is missing from such a perspective -- and actually, though this logic is very simple -- it seems it's very difficult for both guests and many hosts to understand it. The logic goes like this:
"If my house rules dont' work for you, please dont' book a stay at my house. Book at a place that has rules that DO work for you!"
So again, it's very inappropriate for other hosts to be judgemental of any host about how they run THEIR house. It is THEIR house and if you or anyone else don't like how they run it, the solution is simple: dont' stay there!
There is no reason to assume that a host is prudish or anti-sex, because they dislike being awakened in the middle of the night -- having their sleep or that of their children disrupted.
Guests making loud noises when house rules about quiet hours prohibit that, is a violation of house rules. It doesn't really matter how involuntary the noise is. Consider for instance a person who snores really loudly -- that's a noise more involuntary than lovemaking, hard to control -- but that doesn't make it any less a problem. It can wake others up. People who have a health issue like loud snoring, or some need or desire to do certain things such as loud lovemaking that do not fit with quiet hours house rules just shouldn't book in places that have such rules...they have the power of choice. Use it wisely.
I actually think it's rude to book a room in a private home and engage in loud lovemaking. Why aren't such people staying in an entire place listing, where they'd have plenty of privacy? Why do they feel it's appropriate to impose their intimate sex lives on others in someone's private home? Yes, sometimes when people enjoy each other, things can get a bit out of control, but that's the reason why they would be better off booking an entire place. Engaging in loud lovemaking in a rented bedroom in someone's private home is to my mind sort of like renting a room in someone's home for your honeymoon. It's just not the right place for it.
Booking in a place that has quiet hours, then being loud after quiet hours and saying "oh but you are prudish/cruel/some kind of tyrant for not letting us live our lives" is rude and inappropriate. Again, it could not be simpler: if the rules of a listing don't work for you, dont' book there!
I just thought of an amusing way to possibly address this within quiet hours house rules --
"Quiet hours 10pm to 7am. We are a working family and need our sleep so there should be no loud noises during this time. If I hear any screaming at midnight, it better be because the house is on fire. If I hear a bed banging against the walll at 1am, it better be because there's a major earthquake. I hope this is sufficiently clear."
It often feels more difficult to talk to guests about their violation of house rules, and quiet hours, if the violation consists of loud lovemaking. Not only do hosts feel awkward about addressing this, but I've seen many hosts be shamed and castigated in host communities for expressing their confusion about how to deal with this issue. Apparently the point of view of many guests and some hosts alike, is that house rules are fine, except when they're not convenient for the guest. Or, quiet hours are fine, as long as guests can still do whatever they feel that they need to do, at any time of the day. No. Just nope.
One small bit of logic is missing from such a perspective -- and actually, though this logic is very simple -- it seems it's very difficult for both guests and many hosts to understand it. The logic goes like this:
"If my house rules dont' work for you, please dont' book a stay at my house. Book at a place that has rules that DO work for you!"
So again, it's very inappropriate for other hosts to be judgemental of any host about how they run THEIR house. It is THEIR house and if you or anyone else don't like how they run it, the solution is simple: dont' stay there!
There is no reason to assume that a host is prudish or anti-sex, because they dislike being awakened in the middle of the night -- having their sleep or that of their children disrupted.
Guests making loud noises when house rules about quiet hours prohibit that, is a violation of house rules. It doesn't really matter how involuntary the noise is. Consider for instance a person who snores really loudly -- that's a noise more involuntary than lovemaking, hard to control -- but that doesn't make it any less a problem. It can wake others up. People who have a health issue like loud snoring, or some need or desire to do certain things such as loud lovemaking that do not fit with quiet hours house rules just shouldn't book in places that have such rules...they have the power of choice. Use it wisely.
I actually think it's rude to book a room in a private home and engage in loud lovemaking. Why aren't such people staying in an entire place listing, where they'd have plenty of privacy? Why do they feel it's appropriate to impose their intimate sex lives on others in someone's private home? Yes, sometimes when people enjoy each other, things can get a bit out of control, but that's the reason why they would be better off booking an entire place. Engaging in loud lovemaking in a rented bedroom in someone's private home is to my mind sort of like renting a room in someone's home for your honeymoon. It's just not the right place for it.
Booking in a place that has quiet hours, then being loud after quiet hours and saying "oh but you are prudish/cruel/some kind of tyrant for not letting us live our lives" is rude and inappropriate. Again, it could not be simpler: if the rules of a listing don't work for you, dont' book there!
I just thought of an amusing way to possibly address this within quiet hours house rules --
"Quiet hours 10pm to 7am. We are a working family and need our sleep so there should be no loud noises during this time. If I hear any screaming at midnight, it better be because the house is on fire. If I hear a bed banging against the walll at 1am, it better be because there's a major earthquake. I hope this is sufficiently clear."