Post by High Priestess on Jun 14, 2016 3:34:19 GMT
Kimberly shared on NHF March 2015
www.airbnb.com/groups/content/content-123003
suggestions for Airbnb
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How do I contact the site to give a suggestion. I am a single woman who will host guest in my home for a private room. I prefer women as I feel it is safer. If the man has positive reviews I will host him. My question...I lost a booking today because I thought it was a male and it turned out to be a female. Because I thought the inquiry was from a male without references I inquired more and she booked with some one else. I wont risk safety but would like improve the screening process. I would like to suggest to Airbnb to show if the inquiry is from a male or female. Thoughts?
? Suggestions???
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Deborah
Deboraha year ago
I think it would be simple enough to first use the guest's name and photo to help you get this info, but if this doesn't make it clear, or if they haven't posted a photo that shows them clearly enough, or shows them at all, you could always ask if they are male or female. I don't think Airbnb would spend the time to add info about whether the inquiry is from a male or female, even if they had this info about Airbnb members, which they don't -- one doesn't have to indicate one's gender anywhere when signing up., Also, some of the more "gender fluid" folks might feel upset at being forced to put themselves in a category like this, and others might simply dislike the question, or feel it "discriminatory" and refuse to state their gender. I have seen a number of questionairres that have not two but 3 or 4 categories for gender now: male, female and other or "prefer not to state". This is simply reflecting the reality of the changed times we live in. So in my view, it's better not to require folks to have to check a box on this item, but again you can always ask the guest.
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Danny
Dannya year ago
there are lots of VERY safe men, and LOTS of VERY unsafe women. Why discriminate only based on gender?
Reply Like 2 replies•3 likes Delete
Carolyn
Carolyna year ago
Danny, it's not discrimination. My Airbnb is a separate studio, but I plan to list a room in my house soon. I'll only host females. The screening I do will greatly reduce the risk of having an undesirable guest. There's a comfort level involved when a host is a woman with a shared bathroom! Of course a female guest can be unsafe; anyone can. We all have to do our due diligence as hosts in the screening process. I really just want to say that I understand Kimberly's position. We all have to set boundaries based on what we're comfortable with.
Nathalie Et Claude
Nathalie Et Claudea year ago
Bonjour Danny, you speak the truth but 90 p 100 of violent behaviour are from men. A host woman has the right to take that sad fact in account before to invite the guest in her home. And you know what? When there is a rape, the police says, why have you let this man come in your home? How were dresses? So helpful to the victim, isn't it?
Craig & Mark
Craig & Marka year ago
Just state it clearly on your listing. There is a woman near us and she only accepts woman. However as Danny said there can be good and bad in all genders. Ask lots of questions and if you are not comfortable don't accept.
Reply Like 1 like Delete
Kimberly
Kimberlya year ago
Thank you very much for the replies. I did not intend for it to spark a debate only a question of my comfort and safety. I never made included in my statement men are bad and women are good. Its all about my comfort level. Women and only women know what we have faced in our lifetimes of inappropriate behavior and for that reason I dont care who I offend when it comes to my comfort level. I will follow the advice and make clear statement I only accept women for room shares.
Reply Like 1 reply•1 like Delete
Juliet and Ed
Juliet and Eda year ago
Kimberly, you are right, and sometimes it's hard to tell. You can't tell from a name, especially if it is not a name you've ever heard before, perhaps from another country. That's why a photo of the person's face is useful, not a photo of a sunset, or a dog. I don't have a "female only" requirement, but I do require a face. Why? Well, just to give an example: I turned down a request last year from a young lady bedecked in Mardi Gras beads with a bottle in her hand, she wanted to come for a music festival here. She may have been just fine, but the photo told me she was a party girl, I didn't want her coming home drunk!
Cynthia
Cynthiaa year ago
Kimberly I understand and am in same boat. I too require a photo. A key reason is I like to be able to recognize who arrives at the door. My preference is women and you may state that way. I do not state that way and make decisions on a case by case basis. I haven't hosted single men but have hosted couples and groups of 3 that included men and also college travelers. Each have had high ratings and were wonderful guests. Number 1 is to do what makes you comfy. Don't feel bad about that at all.
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Jeannette
Jeannettea year ago
Kimberly -- would taking a self-defense course make you free more at least with male guests? I'm more at ease with certain male than female guests personally in many instances, and I think it's just mainly loving to talk about sports ... But it may also be the confidence that I wouldn't be going down without a fight if either sex gave me problems (from studying Krav Maga).
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Jeannette
Jeannettea year ago
Auto - correct "Feel more at east"
Reply Like 2 replies Delete
Nic and Rach
Nic and Racha year ago
LoL Jeannette " feel more at ease " she gets it. But I totally agree, if you are not comfortable hosting males then just simply write a bold letters that you are only hosting females on your main description so future enquiries will be able to read it.
Jeannette
Jeannettea year ago
LOL :-) Nic and Rach. Now that I'm having some *remarkable* coffee from one of my current guests -- home roasted by her husband and from Nicaragua!! -- maybe I can write a semi clear post (no promises!)
Kimberly
Kimberlya year ago
Thank you ladies for the replies and support. Basically I really wanted to be able to tell if the person was a female or male. I know is is rare for this type of case but my last inquiry was foreign and her pic was from a distance. She had no references but for some reason I thought she was a guy. Her name did not indicate male or female. I have hosted men and very respectful men but they all had references. I was very comfortable with them...so its not a fear of harm...its basically I just wanted if there was a way to approach this diplomatically. If a male does not have references.... I simply will not host him. I live in Florida and the rental laws here state the one time you can "discriminate" is during a house share and the host can exclude the opposite sex. Thanks again for the support.
Reply Like 1 reply•1 like Delete
Jeannette
Jeannettea year ago
Yeah -- get the guests to provide photos that "clearly show the face." That is part of the rules and should really really address close to 100% of the question of M vs F. Somewhat related, I have gotten quite a few queries off CL asking *me* as host my sex -- from folks typically with Middle Eastern names -- that I don't have the tools to ID what the person's gender is. To me, sex should not be a factor in hosts or guests, so I'm not wild about this angle of inquisition (I'm a Viking at heart I guess -- women should be strong and be ready to deal with anything -- ) but I did host a veiled woman from Egypt -- WONDERFUL young woman -- for whom her comfort in removing the veil within the home depended on these things.
Andrew
Andrewa year ago
Kimberly, if you are comfortable hosting men with references/reviews, then one option you have is to remove the gender-based language and instead state that you only host guests with references or reviews. That allows you to be consistent on your terms, without having to ask uncomfortable questions about your guests' genitalia.
Reply Like 1 like Delete
Deborah
www.airbnb.com/groups/content/content-123003
suggestions for Airbnb
Attachment Deleted
Attachment Deleted
How do I contact the site to give a suggestion. I am a single woman who will host guest in my home for a private room. I prefer women as I feel it is safer. If the man has positive reviews I will host him. My question...I lost a booking today because I thought it was a male and it turned out to be a female. Because I thought the inquiry was from a male without references I inquired more and she booked with some one else. I wont risk safety but would like improve the screening process. I would like to suggest to Airbnb to show if the inquiry is from a male or female. Thoughts?
? Suggestions???9 comments
Following
Like
Delete
Hide
Deborah
Deboraha year ago
I think it would be simple enough to first use the guest's name and photo to help you get this info, but if this doesn't make it clear, or if they haven't posted a photo that shows them clearly enough, or shows them at all, you could always ask if they are male or female. I don't think Airbnb would spend the time to add info about whether the inquiry is from a male or female, even if they had this info about Airbnb members, which they don't -- one doesn't have to indicate one's gender anywhere when signing up., Also, some of the more "gender fluid" folks might feel upset at being forced to put themselves in a category like this, and others might simply dislike the question, or feel it "discriminatory" and refuse to state their gender. I have seen a number of questionairres that have not two but 3 or 4 categories for gender now: male, female and other or "prefer not to state". This is simply reflecting the reality of the changed times we live in. So in my view, it's better not to require folks to have to check a box on this item, but again you can always ask the guest.
Reply Like 1 like Delete
Danny
Dannya year ago
there are lots of VERY safe men, and LOTS of VERY unsafe women. Why discriminate only based on gender?
Reply Like 2 replies•3 likes Delete
Carolyn
Carolyna year ago
Danny, it's not discrimination. My Airbnb is a separate studio, but I plan to list a room in my house soon. I'll only host females. The screening I do will greatly reduce the risk of having an undesirable guest. There's a comfort level involved when a host is a woman with a shared bathroom! Of course a female guest can be unsafe; anyone can. We all have to do our due diligence as hosts in the screening process. I really just want to say that I understand Kimberly's position. We all have to set boundaries based on what we're comfortable with.
Nathalie Et Claude
Nathalie Et Claudea year ago
Bonjour Danny, you speak the truth but 90 p 100 of violent behaviour are from men. A host woman has the right to take that sad fact in account before to invite the guest in her home. And you know what? When there is a rape, the police says, why have you let this man come in your home? How were dresses? So helpful to the victim, isn't it?
Craig & Mark
Craig & Marka year ago
Just state it clearly on your listing. There is a woman near us and she only accepts woman. However as Danny said there can be good and bad in all genders. Ask lots of questions and if you are not comfortable don't accept.
Reply Like 1 like Delete
Kimberly
Kimberlya year ago
Thank you very much for the replies. I did not intend for it to spark a debate only a question of my comfort and safety. I never made included in my statement men are bad and women are good. Its all about my comfort level. Women and only women know what we have faced in our lifetimes of inappropriate behavior and for that reason I dont care who I offend when it comes to my comfort level. I will follow the advice and make clear statement I only accept women for room shares.
Reply Like 1 reply•1 like Delete
Juliet and Ed
Juliet and Eda year ago
Kimberly, you are right, and sometimes it's hard to tell. You can't tell from a name, especially if it is not a name you've ever heard before, perhaps from another country. That's why a photo of the person's face is useful, not a photo of a sunset, or a dog. I don't have a "female only" requirement, but I do require a face. Why? Well, just to give an example: I turned down a request last year from a young lady bedecked in Mardi Gras beads with a bottle in her hand, she wanted to come for a music festival here. She may have been just fine, but the photo told me she was a party girl, I didn't want her coming home drunk!
Cynthia
Cynthiaa year ago
Kimberly I understand and am in same boat. I too require a photo. A key reason is I like to be able to recognize who arrives at the door. My preference is women and you may state that way. I do not state that way and make decisions on a case by case basis. I haven't hosted single men but have hosted couples and groups of 3 that included men and also college travelers. Each have had high ratings and were wonderful guests. Number 1 is to do what makes you comfy. Don't feel bad about that at all.
Reply Like Delete
Jeannette
Jeannettea year ago
Kimberly -- would taking a self-defense course make you free more at least with male guests? I'm more at ease with certain male than female guests personally in many instances, and I think it's just mainly loving to talk about sports ... But it may also be the confidence that I wouldn't be going down without a fight if either sex gave me problems (from studying Krav Maga).
Reply Like Delete
Jeannette
Jeannettea year ago
Auto - correct "Feel more at east"
Reply Like 2 replies Delete
Nic and Rach
Nic and Racha year ago
LoL Jeannette " feel more at ease " she gets it. But I totally agree, if you are not comfortable hosting males then just simply write a bold letters that you are only hosting females on your main description so future enquiries will be able to read it.
Jeannette
Jeannettea year ago
LOL :-) Nic and Rach. Now that I'm having some *remarkable* coffee from one of my current guests -- home roasted by her husband and from Nicaragua!! -- maybe I can write a semi clear post (no promises!)
Kimberly
Kimberlya year ago
Thank you ladies for the replies and support. Basically I really wanted to be able to tell if the person was a female or male. I know is is rare for this type of case but my last inquiry was foreign and her pic was from a distance. She had no references but for some reason I thought she was a guy. Her name did not indicate male or female. I have hosted men and very respectful men but they all had references. I was very comfortable with them...so its not a fear of harm...its basically I just wanted if there was a way to approach this diplomatically. If a male does not have references.... I simply will not host him. I live in Florida and the rental laws here state the one time you can "discriminate" is during a house share and the host can exclude the opposite sex. Thanks again for the support.
Reply Like 1 reply•1 like Delete
Jeannette
Jeannettea year ago
Yeah -- get the guests to provide photos that "clearly show the face." That is part of the rules and should really really address close to 100% of the question of M vs F. Somewhat related, I have gotten quite a few queries off CL asking *me* as host my sex -- from folks typically with Middle Eastern names -- that I don't have the tools to ID what the person's gender is. To me, sex should not be a factor in hosts or guests, so I'm not wild about this angle of inquisition (I'm a Viking at heart I guess -- women should be strong and be ready to deal with anything -- ) but I did host a veiled woman from Egypt -- WONDERFUL young woman -- for whom her comfort in removing the veil within the home depended on these things.
Andrew
Andrewa year ago
Kimberly, if you are comfortable hosting men with references/reviews, then one option you have is to remove the gender-based language and instead state that you only host guests with references or reviews. That allows you to be consistent on your terms, without having to ask uncomfortable questions about your guests' genitalia.
Reply Like 1 like Delete
Deborah
