Post by High Priestess on May 27, 2016 4:27:24 GMT
Linda shared May 26 2016
www.airbnb.com/groups/content/content-222995
Should I or Shouldn't I
I have a guest that is to stay for 3 months to do an internship. He stayed with me a full week, went out dancing with my relatives. I texted him to let him know I have a prior guest I wanted him to meet and he responded the next day that would be great. Only, the night I texted him, he did return to my house and his reply message was that next morning. He is a young man around 20 years old and I think they like to feel their oaks at that age and feel they can do what they want and not answer to anyone. He has not returned for 3 nights now. Should I ask him when he is returning? or just let him come and go as he pleases. His fellow classmate is coming on Friday with her mother and she was the one the encouraged him to stay at our home. I checked his room and all his things are in there, including his passport. I sort a feel like his disappearance has something to do with her mother staying for a couple of days and they don't want her to know he is also at my house. Young people - ah!
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Queenie & Ted
Queenie & Ted14 hours ago
As a host, the real question is has he in any way violated your house rules or disrespected you? You are a host, not replacement mom. Your concern for him needs to be on a host/guest level. Since you checked his belongings, you know he hasn't abandoned your home.
Be careful assigning motives to other people's action. Your guest is able to come and go as he pleases, he is an adult. And while it would be nice (you think) for all the guests to meet, that is not necessary as long as they respect you and each other.
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Linda
Linda11 hours ago
I know you're right Queenie - I should just ignore it all unless he violates a rule, however, lack of courtesy and common communication does not do much for trust.
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Queenie & Ted
Queenie & Ted10 hours ago
Look at the other way, Linda. Do you really want a guest to tell you "I'm gonna go stay with someone I met in the bar last night?" Privacy benefits guests and hosts.
Linda
Linda4 hours ago
LoL - no I don't - I do get a little dorm mom-ish but in this case it's more about disrespect because really I want to tell him to pack his bags. I don't like his energy. But, no I don't want to hear about any sex tales from my guests.
C C
C C4 hours ago
Send him to me--my kind of guest--paid up & outta sight!
C C
C C11 hours ago
I have wasted no time having a pillow made with this saying crocheted: I Am A Host, Not A Replacement Mom! Thanks, Q & T
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Queenie & Ted
Queenie & Ted10 hours ago
C C, it is difficult to not go directly to Replacement Mom mode! I have cooked dinner for late night arrivals, given car rides, a lot of things above host requirements. But I try not to cross the line with worrying about how late a guest stays out, or stays gone or their relationship with their traveling partner. I'm still working on it!
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C C
C C10 hours ago
Haha! I think I did a lot more for guests early on, coincidentally or not, like collecting people from the airport or bus stop in the middle of the night. At first I did it for free, but I was a Lyft driver then and it started to gall me that people didn't offer to pay anything. I would never, ever expect someone to take care of my transportation without offering to pay, especially at midnight. I still do offer the help, but tell them on the front end I will charge them. I'm still scratching my head over the guest who arrived here from the other side of the world, with no car, no laptop--and NO PHONE! I almost rehomed him immediately. Plus he hated Graceland. But it would never occur to me to take any interest in guests' personal business. I think I just lack a curiosity about people that most people have. Perhaps because my strong belief is that at age 18, cooked or not, you're done being raised. I left home at 17 and considered myself an adult then, on a par with any other adult. I don't even get involved with my own children's relationships, although I may want to tightly control my grandkids when the time comes! But guests--no.
Linda
Linda4 hours ago
Well C C - I can be mom-ish but not so much tuck em bed - more boss mom.
C C
C C3 hours ago
I hear you.
www.airbnb.com/groups/content/content-222995
Should I or Shouldn't I
I have a guest that is to stay for 3 months to do an internship. He stayed with me a full week, went out dancing with my relatives. I texted him to let him know I have a prior guest I wanted him to meet and he responded the next day that would be great. Only, the night I texted him, he did return to my house and his reply message was that next morning. He is a young man around 20 years old and I think they like to feel their oaks at that age and feel they can do what they want and not answer to anyone. He has not returned for 3 nights now. Should I ask him when he is returning? or just let him come and go as he pleases. His fellow classmate is coming on Friday with her mother and she was the one the encouraged him to stay at our home. I checked his room and all his things are in there, including his passport. I sort a feel like his disappearance has something to do with her mother staying for a couple of days and they don't want her to know he is also at my house. Young people - ah!
4 comments
Follow
Like
Delete
Hide
Queenie & Ted
Queenie & Ted14 hours ago
As a host, the real question is has he in any way violated your house rules or disrespected you? You are a host, not replacement mom. Your concern for him needs to be on a host/guest level. Since you checked his belongings, you know he hasn't abandoned your home.
Be careful assigning motives to other people's action. Your guest is able to come and go as he pleases, he is an adult. And while it would be nice (you think) for all the guests to meet, that is not necessary as long as they respect you and each other.
Reply Like 2 likes Delete
Linda
Linda11 hours ago
I know you're right Queenie - I should just ignore it all unless he violates a rule, however, lack of courtesy and common communication does not do much for trust.
Reply Like 3 replies Delete
Queenie & Ted
Queenie & Ted10 hours ago
Look at the other way, Linda. Do you really want a guest to tell you "I'm gonna go stay with someone I met in the bar last night?" Privacy benefits guests and hosts.
Linda
Linda4 hours ago
LoL - no I don't - I do get a little dorm mom-ish but in this case it's more about disrespect because really I want to tell him to pack his bags. I don't like his energy. But, no I don't want to hear about any sex tales from my guests.
C C
C C4 hours ago
Send him to me--my kind of guest--paid up & outta sight!
C C
C C11 hours ago
I have wasted no time having a pillow made with this saying crocheted: I Am A Host, Not A Replacement Mom! Thanks, Q & T
Reply Liked 2 likes Delete
Queenie & Ted
Queenie & Ted10 hours ago
C C, it is difficult to not go directly to Replacement Mom mode! I have cooked dinner for late night arrivals, given car rides, a lot of things above host requirements. But I try not to cross the line with worrying about how late a guest stays out, or stays gone or their relationship with their traveling partner. I'm still working on it!
Reply Like 3 replies Delete
C C
C C10 hours ago
Haha! I think I did a lot more for guests early on, coincidentally or not, like collecting people from the airport or bus stop in the middle of the night. At first I did it for free, but I was a Lyft driver then and it started to gall me that people didn't offer to pay anything. I would never, ever expect someone to take care of my transportation without offering to pay, especially at midnight. I still do offer the help, but tell them on the front end I will charge them. I'm still scratching my head over the guest who arrived here from the other side of the world, with no car, no laptop--and NO PHONE! I almost rehomed him immediately. Plus he hated Graceland. But it would never occur to me to take any interest in guests' personal business. I think I just lack a curiosity about people that most people have. Perhaps because my strong belief is that at age 18, cooked or not, you're done being raised. I left home at 17 and considered myself an adult then, on a par with any other adult. I don't even get involved with my own children's relationships, although I may want to tightly control my grandkids when the time comes! But guests--no.
Linda
Linda4 hours ago
Well C C - I can be mom-ish but not so much tuck em bed - more boss mom.
C C
C C3 hours ago
I hear you.