Post by High Priestess on Nov 8, 2015 16:34:11 GMT
Suzi shared Nov 8 2015
Advice about reviewing a guest that's broken house rules
Hi all
Could you advise me on how to review a guest please?
Guest was staying for two nights, visiting my city for a wedding. We got along really well and she was very respectful of my house. However on the second night she brought another person to stay and didn't inform me. I stipulate on my house manual (also printed and left in the room) that bringing guests back is strictly prohibited.
She was leaving this morning and i told her that she broke the rules and that I had stated these, and that it's for my own safety that i dont allow this and she and was apologetic. I haven't lost any income as i only charge extra for guests over 2.
How do i address this in a review? She left on good terms and sent a message to apologise again for putting me in an awkward position of having to bring up the issue.
Any advice much appreciated!
Thanks
Suz
Deborah (High Priestess)
I have had a similar experience with a number of guests, who do something that is very very clearly prohibited in the house rules, and who when confronted about it, will apologize and sound quite sincere in their apologies. Yet I have this happen so often, that I am realizing that an apology is not entirely sufficient. Certainly, it is much preferable to have a guest who apologizes, after breaking your house rules, than one who does not, or who goes further and is so rude as to argue that you shouldn't have such and such a rule. But it is just not acceptable for guests to violate a rule that was very very clearly stated -- and which is not a small thing. Smaller issues can be more readily excused -- eg, guest forgot to turn off a light or did laundry a little too late in the day. But bringing a visitor, particularly bringing one OVERNIGHT TO STAY, is a rather notable violation.
So if I were in your situation, I would mention the violation in the public review of the guest. Something like, "Jennifer was overall a respectful guest and we got along really well, which is why I was so surprised that without asking me, she invited a visitor to stay overnight, something that is strictly prohibited."
You could if you want, state in the review that Jennifer apologized, but as I've indicated, I dont' find it acceptable that a guest simply engages in a grossly disrespectful violation of house rules, and then is permitted to think that an apology makes everything fine again. THis isnt' the way it's supposed to work -- "host has house rules, guest reads house rules and agrees to follow them, guest doesn't follow house rules, guest apologizes, all is fine." That isnt' the system that is intended, and it isn't the system that we want, and so I think to avoid creating the impression that an apology suffices for significant violations of rules, it may be best to not mention any apologies, but simply very concisely describe the violation.
Advice about reviewing a guest that's broken house rules
Hi all
Could you advise me on how to review a guest please?
Guest was staying for two nights, visiting my city for a wedding. We got along really well and she was very respectful of my house. However on the second night she brought another person to stay and didn't inform me. I stipulate on my house manual (also printed and left in the room) that bringing guests back is strictly prohibited.
She was leaving this morning and i told her that she broke the rules and that I had stated these, and that it's for my own safety that i dont allow this and she and was apologetic. I haven't lost any income as i only charge extra for guests over 2.
How do i address this in a review? She left on good terms and sent a message to apologise again for putting me in an awkward position of having to bring up the issue.
Any advice much appreciated!
Thanks
Suz
Deborah (High Priestess)
I have had a similar experience with a number of guests, who do something that is very very clearly prohibited in the house rules, and who when confronted about it, will apologize and sound quite sincere in their apologies. Yet I have this happen so often, that I am realizing that an apology is not entirely sufficient. Certainly, it is much preferable to have a guest who apologizes, after breaking your house rules, than one who does not, or who goes further and is so rude as to argue that you shouldn't have such and such a rule. But it is just not acceptable for guests to violate a rule that was very very clearly stated -- and which is not a small thing. Smaller issues can be more readily excused -- eg, guest forgot to turn off a light or did laundry a little too late in the day. But bringing a visitor, particularly bringing one OVERNIGHT TO STAY, is a rather notable violation.
So if I were in your situation, I would mention the violation in the public review of the guest. Something like, "Jennifer was overall a respectful guest and we got along really well, which is why I was so surprised that without asking me, she invited a visitor to stay overnight, something that is strictly prohibited."
You could if you want, state in the review that Jennifer apologized, but as I've indicated, I dont' find it acceptable that a guest simply engages in a grossly disrespectful violation of house rules, and then is permitted to think that an apology makes everything fine again. THis isnt' the way it's supposed to work -- "host has house rules, guest reads house rules and agrees to follow them, guest doesn't follow house rules, guest apologizes, all is fine." That isnt' the system that is intended, and it isn't the system that we want, and so I think to avoid creating the impression that an apology suffices for significant violations of rules, it may be best to not mention any apologies, but simply very concisely describe the violation.